Warning: New Date Rape Drug; Easier than Ever!

Warning: New Date Rape Drug; Easier than Ever!

This article is set to inform people that there is a new drug on the “market”. This drug is said to be easier to hide and access, and very much cheaper than other known “date rape drugs”. It is an eye drop that’s considered the new form of Rohypnol and it is being used to spike victims’ drinks making them much easier targets.

Police are saying that it isn’t really a problem however many people in the nightclub industry are saying a completely different story. Nightclubs are refusing to let any form of eye drops be brought into their nightclubs. Their advice: don’t accept drinks or ice cubes from strangers. They can even spike the ice cubes if they have an accomplice behind the bar. Never drink communal drinks either. “And if a friend suddenly feels ill at a party, never leave them unattended. The rapist wants to isolate her in the bathroom, where he can rape her and she won’t recall a thing.”

The eye drops are not effective unless put into alcohol, so for any sober drinker there is no way to spike their drink with this. The alcohol acts as a catalyst and the more concentrated the alcohol is the stronger the drug will hit the victim.

Symptoms are dizziness, drowsiness, diarrhea, nausea and amnesia. The effects the next day feel like a person drank ten times what they really did.

Everyone should be aware of their surroundings and no what to look for. Being informed is the first step in protecting yourself.

“Shattering the Silence of Sexual Violence” – AUGUST 14 – Baton Rouge, LA

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"Shattering the Silence of Sexual Violence" - AUGUST 14 - Baton Rouge, LA

“Shattering the Silence of Sexual Violence”AUGUST 14 – Baton Rouge, LA

Click to View the LSP Training Invitation

Please join us for the 2nd Annual “Shattering the Silence of Sexual Violence” training seminar.  Last year we focused on the victims of sexual violence – this year’s program will focus on sex offenders. CLICK HERE:

LSP Training Agenda v2

September is National Campus Safety Awareness Month!

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September is National Campus Safety Awareness Month!

FREE! CLICK HERE to sign up!

This September, national non-profits Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment (PAVE) and the Clery Center for Security On Campus are partnering with other organizations and institutions for the Safe Campus, Strong Voices campaign, an initiative for National Campus Safety Awareness Month. Safe Campus, Strong Voices engages campus communities in increasing awareness and engagement around campus safety issues such as sexual assault, dating violence, hazing, stalking, and high-risk drinking. It empowers students as bystanders to make changes in their campus environment and encourages victims to seek the support they deserve.

“The first few weeks of college are critical,” says Amy Guthrie, Program Coordinator for the Clery Center. “National Campus Safety Awareness Month is an opportunity to start dialogue about campus safety early in the school year, a time when we typically see an increase in crime.”

PAVE founder Angela Rose travels nationally telling her own survivor story, encouraging students to get involved and find support within their community. “Every time I speak on a college campus, there’s a line of students who want to disclose that they have been affected by sexual assault and most have never reported,” says Rose.

Institutions implementing the Safe Campus, Strong Voices campaign receive resources that help them implement National Campus Safety Awareness Month programming on their campuses. Collaborators such as the Stalking Resource Center, ResponseAbility, the Gordie Center for Substance Abuse Prevention, Hollaback!, Stop the Silence, Students Active for Ending Rape, HazingPrevention.org, Break the Cycle, and the National Partnership to End Interpersonal Violence Across the Lifespan contributed insight and information to help benefit institutions.

On September 25, 2013, institutions can also participate in a national day of action in which students will make a pact to work to end sexual assault at their institutions. The pact, created through a partnership between the Clery Center and collaborative documentary teams at 5 institutions (Rowan University, Western State Colorado University, Northern Illinois University, Framingham State University, and California State University: Northridge), recognizes the importance of bystanders in preventing sexual violence.

FREE! CLICK HERE to sign up!

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PAVE Moms Shattering The Silence

Talk, Share, Shatter the Silence…donate to PAVE and receive Moms Shattering The Silence, a multi-media tool kit for Moms to talk to kids about sexual abuse.

Tweet About It! #pavemoms

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO!




The rate of sexual abuse is extremely high – 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys before the age of 18 will be sexually assaulted. But it is SO silent and so hard for parents to talk to their kids about it!!
PAVE has developed a multi-media package for moms launching on MOTHERS DAY 2012 called “PAVE Moms Shattering The Silence”

Donate $25 to PAVE and receive this valuable multi-media kit for you and for the moms you honor, cherish and care about!

Talk, Share, Shatter the Silence…donate  below to PAVE and receive Moms Shattering The Silence, a multi-media tool kit for Moms to talk to kids about sexual abuse.

PAVE Moms Shattering the Silence

WE NEED YOU!

Please Help Us Get Out the Word…Tweet about it #pavemoms

MARY AMONS – Bravo’s Real Housewives of DC

DR. CHERYL ARUTT - Psychologist & Trauma Expert SEEN ON CNN, HLN, truTV AND FOX NEWS

DR. JENN BERMAN – Host of VH1′s Couples Therapy and The Love and Sex Show with Dr. Jenn on Sirius XM & Mother of Twins

DR. THEMA BRYANT-DAVIS – Licensed Psychologist, Poet, Dancer & Minister Seen on BET, PBS, Dr. Phil, ESSENCE Magazine

JENNER EVANS - Actress/model/comedian who has appeared on shows on E! and Lifetime

KIM GOLDMAN – Internationally Best-Selling Author, Speaker, Radio Host, Activist Seen on Oprah

DR. MICHELLE GOLLAND – National Relationship Expert and Psychologist Seen on CNN, Fox and Dr. Drew on CNN HLN

ANDREA METCALF – Best-selling Author Seen on NBC’s TODAY SHOW, Good Morning America and Oprah.com

ANGELICA PAGE - American Award Winning actress, Director, Producer and Screenwriter

MELISSA JUN ROWLEY – Award-Winning Journalist, On-Air Host, and Content Strategist

ROBIN SAX – Author & Legal Analyst seen on CNN, Fox, and The Today Show

LIZ SECCURO – Author, Speaker, Advocate seen on Dateline NBC, The Today Show, MSNBC

PAVE MEDIA MOMS AVAILABLE FOR INTERVIEW


A Wonderful Resource for LGBTQ Survivors from WCSAP

There are a lot of myths and misconceptions surrounding sexual violence in the LGBTQ community. The  fact is, the LGBTQ population faces the same forms of sexual violence that the rest of the population does. What’s more, sexual violence is often used as a hate crimes tactic to target the LGBTQ population. These communities also have a harder time reporting sexual violence due to increased barriers like homophobia and the fear of being outed. This is especially true of female identified same sex partners, who are often times not believed when reporting due to the common myth that women cannot be perpetrators of sexual violence.

Here are some helpful stats about sexual violence in the LGBTQ population. I found these statistics on RAINN’s Website (www.RAINN.org)  and from the wonderful publication that I describe below:

Stats:

  • Six percent of all anti-LGBT hate crimes are incidents of sexual assault or forcible rape.
  • More than half of gay men and lesbians report at least one incident of sexual coercion by a same-sex partner.
  • It is often thought that the larger, “butcher” partner will be the assailant in a same-sex assault; however, size or gender identity does not determine who the abusive partner is.
  • Bisexual, transgendered, lesbian, and gay people experience violence within their intimate relationships at about the same rates as heterosexuals (Waldner-Haugrud, 1997; AVP, 1992)
    • 30% of lesbians report having experienced sexual assault or rape by another woman (not necessarily an intimate partner) (Renzetti, 1992)
    • 15% of men living with a male intimate partner report being raped, assaulted or stalked by a male cohabitant (CDC, 1999)
  • LGBT individuals may experience abuse during their childhood. They may be abused by parents or others who are intolerant of homosexuality. They may be targeted for sexual abuse by adults that recognize their “difference.”
  • Over 11% of gay and lesbian youth report being physical attacked by family members (Hetrick-Martin Institute, 1988)
  • 42% of homeless youth, many of whom have run away from home to escape violence, self-­identify as gay/lesbian. (Victim Services, 1991) LGBT persons face additional challenges in healing from childhood sexual assault, due to myths that childhood sexual assault may have “caused” them to be gay.
  • A study of gay, lesbian and bisexual adults showed that 41% reported being a victim of a hate crime after the age of 16. (Herek, 1999) Sexual violence is more common among LGBT hate crimes, assailants may use rape to “punish” victims for what they view as their sexual transgressions.

Because of the particular barriers that the LGBTQ community faces when reporting or talking about their assault, the transition to survivorhood can be even more difficult. It is important that as a community we recognize this difficulty and provide education and resources for LGBTQ survivors and allies to help the healing process. While conducting research for some PAVE educational materials I stumbled upon this wonderful resource, Setting The Stage: Strategies for Supporting LGBTIQ survivors. that was published by the Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs that does just that! I encourage you as an individual, advocate, counselor, friend, survivor, social service agency, etc to read through this wonderful publication.

You can download a PDF of the WCSAP’s Setting The Stage: Strategies for Supporting LGBTIQ Survivors by clicking here. Please use this resources to support hte LGBTQ survivors in your life!

My Stories: Marnie and IMPACT Personal Safety

“As a survivor of stranger rape, I never had an interest in taking a self-defense class.  I teach people that being aware of your surroundings is critical. We live in a world where women must be on high alert. We teach women to avoid certain places at specific times, buddy up, and be safe rather than sorry.  However we don’t have the physical tools to fight back.  While I wanted to have every tool available to protect myself, the possibility of learning something that could have changed the trajectory of my history made self defense feel like a place I did not belong -to learn what could have been seemed tragic.  It was for those who haven’t been attacked.

Having a strong sense that self-defense would be cathartic for me, my husband convinced me to attend his Arnis class. As I surveyed the room – six guys, an instructor and a red duffle bag filled with knives – I fled through the front door. I was terrified. This was not for me. I did not have one survivor friend who went to self defense as part of their healing. His instructor recommended IMPACT Personal Safety, a program for women that he had been involved with. I watched their videos online. I was impressed with the intensity and focus of the course. Good for them, I thought, but not good for me.

Then I read IMPACT’s mission: men and women dedicated to ending the cycle of violence, a goal of many anti-sexual assault organizations I work with.  More specifically the goals of IMPACT are ones that this activist should know. The mission of IMPACT Personal Safety is to end the cycle of violence in society by empowering women, children, and men with the self-esteem and the tools necessary to take control of their lives through self-defense, boundary setting and the understanding that your life is worth fighting for.

I reluctantly signed up for the eight weeks basics course.  At the first class, I met 13 other strong, smart women who had been attacked or feared it, along with four instructors – one instructor, two assists, and our male instructor – the mugger.  Three and a half hours later, I wished every woman knew what I had just learned.  I left feeling exhausted but forever changed. We were taught surprisingly simple but highly effective physical moves to protect ourselves in real life situations that we chose and fought out with our fully padded and protected male instructor. I watched my classmates elbow, strike, and kick their way out of every scenario. IMPACT is not just about learning how to fight but arming yourself with verbal skills to deescalate a situation – and if all else fails – we were prepared to fight.  These boundary setting skills crossover to the every day – from a difficult boss to a needy friend, IMPACT taught us to assess situations and apply the right tools.

Every week I felt a little wiser, a little stronger, a little safer.  This class was about protecting myself in the present, and adding these skills to my activist toolbox. I went from vehemently arguing why the class was not for me to encouraging every woman to take the basics class. If anything the class reinforced that I skillfully survived the attack.  For survivors, this is an empowering moment: taking the power back. You don’t need to practice it- it’s muscle memory. Instead of freezing, your body has been taught to fight back.

The class ends with graduation – a mighty send off with an opportunity to show friends and family what you’ve learned. My husband, friends, and even a client attended.  I watched thirteen strong women I met just eight weeks earlier confidently and instinctively handle every scenario they were confronted with.  We were also applauding each other’s transformations and successes, from walking fearlessly through a parking lot at night, to changing jobs, to feeling a whole lot safer.  How many things can you learn in eight classes will change you forever?  Self defense is not a mandatory class all children learn in school; we learn what we are taught by family or friends, and then when one becomes a victim of a crime, we blame. We blame ourselves, and criminals know this. So then, how could you not take this class?  You want to find the survivor in you? Want to kick that fear through a brick wall?  Invest in you and find peace, happiness and some serious strength with IMPACT Personal Safety.”

- Marnie Goodfriend

If you are interested in learning more about IMPACT Personal Safety’s programs and how you might use then as a part of your healing process, you can learn more on their website. I’m linking you straight to their chapter locator page so you can click the one in your area, as each location offers different services. Click here.

 

 

 

 

PAVE:My Stories: Anonymous

PAVE My Stories: Anonymous
The beginning of my sophomore year of high school, I met the most amazing boy. I had just broken up with a long-term boyfriend; he was sweet and funny. However, due to circumstance, I didn’t get the chance to date him until the very end of junior year. Once we did start dating, I was so happy because no one had ever treated me as kindly as he did.

A few months into the relationship was when I first knew something was wrong. He started being mean, he wouldn’t let me hang out with my girl friends, and basically forbade me from speaking to my guy friends. I didn’t want to break up with him for this, but these were my friends from elementary school. At the same time, I didn’t know if anyone would love me if we broke up.

It kept getting worse. He had no respect for me, constantly made me cry, never let me be with my friends, but was able to do whatever he wanted, while I sat alone at home on Friday and Saturday nights. I lost my virginity to him a few months into our relationship. After about a year was when it started getting bad. Growing up in a small town, rape had one meaning: when a stranger forced a girl into having sex with him. Rape didn’t happen between acquaintances, friends, significant others; if rape happened, it was usually the girl’s fault. Now, after a year of dating, when we had sex, it HURT. He’d be forceful and rough, and even when I cried and asked him to stop, he wouldn’t. He would yell at me to shut up and let him finish, and afterwards, would leave me to myself to finish crying while he went and played video games. Time and again, I went through this. It was stuck in my head that this was normal. He would be so sweet during the day when we were around other people, but by ourselves, it was different. I didn’t think I could leave; we had plans to get married, his whole family was so excited about it. I was so afraid he would hurt me if I tried to break up, and he made me feel like no one would ever love me. I wasn’t pretty, I was too needy, I was too demanding, I didn’t do enough for him. As much as I loved him, because I did, it was never good enough.

For another 3 or 4 months, sex was like this. Consensual at first, forceful at the end, with me feeling degraded and left alone to cry. I had no one to talk to, and no one noticed that I wanted to die. But because I was taught that rape was a stranger on a girl, I didn’t do anything. One night, everything changed and I knew it was wrong. We were alone for the night, and started fooling around. I didn’t want to have sex, but it started anyway. I changed my mind, and asked him to stop. He took my shoulders, slammed me down on the floor, and held me while I cried and screamed. The pain was horrible, and after he finished, left me to go watch TV. I couldn’t stop crying; I didn’t know what I had done to deserve this, I didn’t know what I could do right anymore to make him stop doing this to me. I kept crying and screaming, and eventually he yelled at me to shut the f*** up, to go downstairs and go to bed. And I did, because I was too afraid to leave him to go home. Home was a half hour away, and it was so late at night, I didn’t want to scare my parents. I broke up with him shortly after this. He tried so hard to get me back, but I have wonderful friends who held my hand while I tried to deal. I didn’t realize that rape could happen between significant others until almost a year after I broke up with him; I’m still dealing with the aftermath. I have severe anger problems, I have trust issues, and still, sometimes I’m afraid to have sex with my boyfriend of almost two years. All the memories still haunt me, but talking about it and dealing with the memories head-on has helped. I don’t know if mentally or emotionally I’ll be okay; but I’ve made progress. Enough that I can make it through the day without thinking about it and without worrying that he’ll find me.

Do you have a story to share? Please email your stories to info@ShatteringTheSilence.org with “My Stories” in the subject line.

PAVE My Stories: Brigid

PAVE My Stories: Brigid
It was a Saturday night, Valentine’s Day, a friend and I had decided to go out and get tanked to celebrate how miserable we were as we had both recently broken up with boyfriends. We went to a local “meat market” and were hanging around flirting and drinking and pretty much still feeling miserable.  I ran in to a couple guys I used to know from a restaurant where I had worked for years, and they immediately recognized me too. We shouted back and forth over the music, then one asked me to dance so I did.  It was a typical club scene, drinking and dancing, whatever.  My friend had run in to her ex with another girl and wanted to leave, so Dude said he would drive me home.  I agreed.

He drove me home and, boy I was DRUNK.  He said he had some pot, we smoked some, which immediately made me puke.  I was so embarrassed and he was really sweet about it. He held my hair, brought me water, told me over and over it was ok, we have all been here.  When I told him I had to go to bed he asked if he could stay, didn’t even get under the covers because he didn’t want to freak me out. A gentleman!

He called several days later in the afternoon to see if I wanted to hang out.  I told him I had been fighting a nasty cold for a couple days, so maybe the weekend would be better. He said ok, fine, yeah.  After meeting my family for dinner for my nephew’s birthday, I came straight home, feeling ill and tired and wanting nothing more than my bed.  When I arrived home there were all these utility crews in the parking lot – apparently there was a gas leak of some sort.  I talked to one of the guys and he said it was fine for me to be home, they would let me know if the situation changed. Ok, good.

So I went inside and took some Nyquil because I felt like crap. I crashed immediately (you know the way Nyquil does that).  Some time later, maybe an hour or two, I heard the phone ring.  It was Dude. I didn’t answer, I was too sleepy.

A bit later I woke to this insanely urgent knock on my door.  It was after 1 AM. I was confused like, “WTF?” and then I remembered the gas leak.  Oh no!  So I got up and answered the door.  It was Dude.  He said he had tried to call but I hadn’t answered so he just came by, was that ok?  I told him I was really tired and didn’t feel very well. He said ok, but he had left the pot the other night (indeed he had, I had it stashed) and could he get it?  I agreed, turned to get it from the hiding spot in the bedroom.

He followed, teased me about my pajamas, “What are you wearing?” with a laugh as he gave the waistband of the shorts a little tug. I got the pot, handed it to him, and then pretty much collapsed in the bed.  I guess I thought he would just leave, but he offered to give me a back rub “to help me relax” (because I obviously needed that) and urged me to turn over. I sleepily did.

So, I was sacked out face down on the mattress, half asleep, he was rubbing my back and it was nice and cozy when all of a sudden he yanked my shorts and undies off – one fell swoop! I jerked to sit up but he pushed my face back into the bed, catching my temple on the table at the head of the bed pretty hard.  He straddled me, and I could hear him undoing the belt and the jeans in a frenzy.  I thought HELL NO! and tried to roll over, in the process he got a hold of my right arm and managed to get it pinned under my back as I rolled, torquing out my shoulder pretty good. I tried to push him or maybe hit him with my one free arm, but he grabbed and held it fast, then with his other arm elbowed me in the head. I tried to squirm out from under him kicking and such but only succeeding in twisting my shoulder further – I thought for sure it was going to just pop.  He was using his knees to pry my legs apart while holding my head against the bed by smashing my face with the palm of his hand, I was struggling too much for that to work very well so he planted his knee into my sternum good and hard (knocking the breath from me) and then punched me a few times in the head.

I saw his face then – he had this sick grin I will never ever EVER forget and that was the moment I realized a) he was clearly enjoying himself and b) I wasn’t going to win – he was going to beat the hell out of me and fuck me anyway. So I just stopped fighting.

So, he then raped me. At one point he actually asked me if I was enjoying myself.  At some point he was done, rolled off me and we laid there.  I was so completely defeated, I couldn’t even get up then. I remember his heart was beating so loudly, I said something about I thought it might explode, he laughed and said it must have been all the coke he did before he came over. He got up then and went into the living room to smoke some weed, to “help him relax.” I looked at the time – it was 2:30 and for some reason that, of all things, made me bawl.  He came back in the bedroom and asked what was wrong (!?!).  I cried until I passed out.

I woke when the alarm went off and he was crashed out next to me. Ew ew ew. I showered and quickly got ready for work and then had a heck of a time waking him up so I could leave.  I didn’t want to touch him or talk to him, but I couldn’t just leave him there.  I shook him awake and told him I had to leave right then. We got out into the parking lot and I started getting into my car, he said something like, “Aren’t you even going to say goodbye?” and I replied, “You can’t do this to me again.” He smirked that same sick grin as before and said, “Oh yes, I can.”

That day at work was pretty much hell.  I remember the secretary mentioning that I had got there really early – I had too!  I didn’t take time to eat or make tea or anything, I just wanted to get the fuck out of my apartment. At noon I went to lift weights with a coworker and friend, which was our habit on Thursdays and as we dressed she asked, “What happened to your leg…both of your legs…and your arm…my god your shoulder! Brigid!”  I sheepishly looked away, told her that Dude had been over the night before and it got a little out of hand. I remember her looking at me waiting for me to say more and I didn’t. That was the extent of the reporting.

Of course I didn’t tell anyone, especially the cops.  I felt like an idiot for trusting him, for opening the door, for being stoned, for wearing those pajamas, for not being smarter or stronger or any adjective that would have kept it from happening.

Over the next couple of weeks there were several nights Dude called repeatedly, and then, often, some time later there would be frenetic pounding on my door, him hollering my name.  It was awful – I would squat behind the couch in the dark because if he saw a light or heard noise he wouldn’t go away for long periods of time, sometimes banging on the door for 20 minutes, going out to the car and calling again, leave a message saying he could hear my phone ring, my car was there he knew I was home, then he would come back in and knock some more.  Eventually he gave up.

PAVE Founder Angela Rose, Sexual Assault Survivor, on A&E’s Bio Channel “I Survived” & Other National Media

Angela on I Survived

Angela Rose, PAVE Founder is a survivor…and thriver. At the age of 17, Angela was abducted at knife point outside a suburban Chicago shopping mall. She was assaulted by a repeat sex-offender on parole for murder-and was eventually released by her attacker. Angela shares her story through her nonprofit PAVE (Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment), across college campuses and on national media including Oprah Winfrey Network, CNN, A&E Bio Channel’s television show I Survived.

FOLLOW ANGELA ON TWITTER: AngelaRosePAVE

Important note: Although Angela’s story was a stranger assault, overwhelmingly sexual assault is committed by someone we know and trust. PAVE works to shatter the silence and prevent ALL sexual violence.


In a stripped-down, simple interview style, I Survived… allows survivors to explain, in their own words, how they overcame unbelievable circumstances-offering insight into what got them through the experience that changed their lives forever.

 

Tune in for an personal account of her experiences and how she is now helping other victims get their voice back. CLICK HERE

CLICK HERE to see Angela Rose on THE LEAD on CNN HLN – Aug 2013

Sexual assault survivor Angela Rose says any time you can shatter the silence about what happened, you reclaim power.

CLICK HERE to see Dr. Drew on CNN Headline News

CLICK HERE to Listen to PAVE Founder Angela Rose on the Geraldo Rivera Radio Show talking about the Castro case – August 2013

CLICK HERE to see “BREAKTHROUGH WOMEN” segment about Angela Rose

CLICK HERE to see Angela Rose on ABC 7 news Chicago.

CLICK HERE to watch the RACE FOR CHANGE on ABC news. April 2013

CLICK HERE to watch PAVE Founder Angela Rose on FOX’s Mike Huckabee Show with celebrity co-host Bethenny Frankel.

CLICK HERE for more info on Angela Rose on Good Day LA.

CLICK HERE to see Angela Rose on Sacramento & Co Morning Show.

CLICK HERE to see Angela Rose on a news broadcast in the Bahamas.

FOLLOW ANGELA ON TWITTER: AngelaRosePAVE

FREE resources for Sexual Assault Awareness month:

http://www.pavingtheway.net/wordpress/saam

 

The Binding Project at Pace University!

PACE Binding Project 1A wonderful report on the Binding Project from PACE University Students:

Pace University- Binding Project, 2/22 & 2/29
Kessel Student Center

“Students [at PACE University] took action by participating in the binding project to spread awareness about violence perpetrated against men and women.

The binding project is a project that’s a part of Angela Rose’s non-profit organization, PAVE. We use this project as a platform to share her story about how she turned her experience as a survivor of sexual violence, into activism. Angela speaks out about sexual violence and the way in which it affects victims worldwide. Students wrote words that they felt like empowered them, on a zip tie. They wore the ties for two days in unity, for the same amount of time that Angela was tied using the material, when she was kidnapped at age 17.”

Check out these great pics from the event!

PACE Binding Project 3PACE Binding Project 5

Interested in doing the binding project on your campus or in your community? If so, read more about the binding project here, or click here to purchase now.