PAVE My Stories: From Protect Our Defenders: Rebecca’s Story

One of the many ways that PAVE Affiliate Protect Our Defenders raises awareness about sexual violence in the military is by having survivors share their stories. Please watch Rebecca’s Story below:

Do you have a story to tell? Please email your written, recorded or video story to info@ShatteringTheSilence.org. Please include weather or not you would like the story to be anonymous or how you would like us to use your name.

 

Arts for Awareness:”A Mutual Onus” Premieres Across the Country!

Cathy Foxhoven

PAVE partner and AAUW organizer Cathy Foxhoven has written a wonderful play, A Mutual Onus to help raise awareness and Shatter the Silence. A Mutual Onus is a compilation of monologues about real women and their continued suffering in developing countries as well as here in the United States. The play premieres tonight, Saturday March 10th in Burlingame, California AND is also available for YOU to purchase and perform on your high school or college campus or in your community. Proceeds from the sale go to benefit PAVE. Please read the article below  from Cathy Foxhoven about how you can get involved in A Mutual Onus:

What is a mutual onus? The definition of onus is a burden or an obligation — a duty. Mutual means shared.

One of my dear friends from AAUW, Diane Silven, gave me a copy of Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide for Christmas two years ago. I began reading it and found it so disturbing that I couldn’t read it at night — it was hard to sleep. I could only read it while traveling on Caltrain to teach in San Francisco.

The stories of global women’s issues were so powerful, and once I finished the book, I knew that I couldn’t ignore their plight. I had to do more than make a donation. I had to tell those stories in the only way I could — through the power of theater. It became an onus, and I needed to share this responsibility with others.

A Mutual Onus is a compilation of monologues about real women and their continued suffering in developing countries as well as here in the United States. You might recognize their stories from news sources — only the names have been changed to protect the subjects’ identities.

It is hard to imagine that such cruelty could be inflicted upon anyone, but there is hope and help because of international outcries.

You have the opportunity to help these women and girls by seeing this production live on March 10 at 1 p.m. at the Burlingame Library in Burlingame, California, or on April 20 at 7 p.m. at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco. No advance tickets are necessary. There is a suggested donation of $10.

The play is available for other AAUW branches to perform — in exchange for donations to two organizations that are helping give these women hope and a future: 34 Million Friends, which provides maternal health care, and Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment, which raises awareness that we don’t need to suffer silently when we have been sexually violated. We hope that you will generously support the work of these groups.

This post was written by Cathy Foxhoven, AAUW of California program director. Foxhoven has more than 35 years of experience as a professional actor and singer in films, prime time television, soap operas (The Young and the Restless), commercials, voiceovers, radio dramas, print work, and theatre in California, Colorado, Nevada, and Ohio. She is currently a professor at Academy of Arts University in the Motion Pictures and Television Department.

PAVE Welcomes SCOPE as a New Affiliate

SCOPE Logo PAVE would like to give a warm welcome to SCOPE: School and College Organization for Prevention Organizers to PAVE’s Affiliate program.

SCOPE is the professional home for those whose mission is to empower primary prevention within schools, colleges and communities. SCOPE an independent, not-for-profit membership association for prevention educators and professionals. SCOPE embraces an ecological, inclusive, holistic, feminist, public health, evidence-based and multi-disciplinary vision of prevention.

To effectively promote the aims of the prevention community, SCOPE members deeply examine the causes of violence, health and safety risks within society — including hate, intolerance, apathy, gender bias, racism, homophobia, stigmatization of mental health, objectification of the human body, ignorance, predation and discrimination — to foster effective, interconnected, strategic prevention.

If you’re organization falls within this SCOPE, we highly suggest you attend SCOPE’s 2012 Annual Conference, October 18-20 in Orland, Florida or check out their Spring Webinar Series.

Governor Signs South Dakota Senate Bill 68 so that no statute of limitations applies to certain rape cases!

South DakotaFrom Jolene Loetscher:

A huge WIN for victims’ rights happened in South Dakota on March 2nd, 2012. Gov. Daugaard signed Senate Bill 68 which removes the statute of limitations on certain criminal rape cases. This is a great step forward in helping victims become survivors and allowing survivors to find justice. PAVE partner and victim’s rights advocate Jolene Loetscher would like to give a special thanks to Sen. Mark Johnston for his work, friendship and support of her and so many other survivors. She would also like to give a shout out to the Compass Center for its incredible work with this legislation and its on-going mission to provide renewal and recovery. While this means some of the darkest crimes will see the light of justice, we cannot forget that in the darkness remain so many silent tears of victims who need our love and support.

PAVE’s FREE SAAM 2012 Toolkit is Available NOW

SAAM Logo

PAVE’s Free SAAM 2012 Toolkit is available NOW for download.

Click this link to go to PAVE’s SAAM Page and download your kit today.

Wear Your PJs to Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence!

PAVE Ambassador Pepper Miller Shatters The Silence with Pajamas

Leandra Pepper Krueger

Pepper Miller

And now YOU can too!

Passionate about being a voice for those who have been silenced by abuse, Pepper speaks out openly about her own personal story of sexual abuse, endured at the hands of her own trusted doctor. This is now her cause, her platform.


On Valentine’s Day 2006 Pepper was drugged and sexually assaulted by her OB/GYN. After speaking out and pressing charges, detectives were able to back track assaults, perpetrated by the Doctor, almost 23 years. Many were silenced!

 

With a successful conviction, Pepper is now determined to give a voice, and a face, to this far too often “silent crime.” The defense side in her case, claims the assault was “enticed” due to the fact that Pepper wore PJ’s to the appointment. They have even threatened to “expose” the fact that she wore PJ’s to the appointment if she ever speaks out publicly again. Because of this, Leandra will now be speaking out publicly in her PJ’s, to shatter that myth that victims are in any way responsible for
crimes committed against them.This is not to be antagonistic but rather to educate. A visual if u will because ABUSE IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE.

 

With April being Sexual Assault Awareness month, Pepper will be speaking out once again publicly, Shattering the Silence! Lets all PAVE the way and take action now! It is simple! Show your support by wearing ‘PJ’s For Pepper!’ and accessorize with a Heart. Take a picture of yourself in your PJs and send them to Pepper to show your support!


In conjunction with the fact that her assault happened on Valentines’s Day, the heart [♥] will represent love…. Because love conquers all!
Would you be willing to help raise the volume and
get involved? Maybe your family? maybe your company? Pepper would like to share pictures in her powerpoint presentation, of different supporters Nationwide, willing to raise the volume on this far too often silent crime. She will be sharing pictures of individuals, companies, and families around the US, in their PJ’s, sharing encouraging, powerful, or inspirational quotes.

Get involved and show your PJ’s = Pride in Justice!!!

Please share what city and state you are from as well. Your name is optional.

PJ Pictures can be sent to

PrideinJustice@yahoo.com

 

Rihanna and Chris Brown Reunion?: Why Domestic Abuse Must Not Be Portrayed as Acceptable

The topic of choice this month for PAVE is Healthy Relationships. While February is almost over I want to continue the conversation considering recent news of Rihanna and Chris Brown collaborating on a remix, “Birthday Cake” and confirmation that they are “rekindling” their relationship after Rihanna was a victim of violent abuse in their previous relationship. While this “rekindling” is sure to get a lot of media coverage, I appreciate the feministing.com post going directly to the bigger issues involved that are more important than the celebrity couple reunion itself.

The post discussed how this would affect the conversation on domestic violence being that a reunion between the two celebrities would be a widely viewed, public affair. As mentioned in the post, this raises concern in part because it is not unlikely for victims to return to their abusers; but what kind of example does this set? Will people use this to cut off a real discussion about domestic violence, and the circumstances and norms that surround the issue because a female celebrity chose to restart a professional and/or personal relationship with her perpetrator?

I want to talk about why this happens. Why do victims of domestic violence return to their abuser? I am aware that their are circumstances that prevent victims from getting out of an abusive relationship, but that does not make the violence okay. I agree with the article that the main point is that even if Rihanna and Chris Brown get back together, domestic abuse is unacceptable with no exceptions. I just hope fans of Rihanna and Chris Brown don’t form the wrong impression about domestic abuse from this.

-Sarah

 

PAVE Welcomes Protect Our Defenders as Our Newest Affiliate

A Spotlight on Protect Our Defenders

PAVE would like to give a warm welcome to Protect Our Defenders as our newest Affiliate organization. Protect Our Defenders is a human rights organization that honors, supports and gives voices to the brave women and men in uniform who have been raped or sexually assaulted by fellow service members. They seek to fix the military training, investigation and adjudication systems related to sexual violence and harassment — systems that often re-victimize assault survivors by blaming them while failing to prosecute perpetrators. Check out this great video to learn more about Protect Our Defenders.

 

Click here to join Protect Our Defender for their latest campaign! Tell Fox News: Fire Liz Trotta, who said women in uniform should “expect” to be raped and issue an apology to all America Female Military Personnel.

PAVE and Protect Our Defenders will also be joining forces this April for Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Keep an eye out for our SAAM Tool-kit with a special feature for campus ROTC and Veterans organizations.

 

Assaulting Women: Veganism, Manarchism, and the Politics of Support

Please enjoy a very timely critique of PETA’s new add campaign:

Released to PAVE, Feminist Agenda PDX, and Connecting the Dots for open use.

Warning: Sexual assault/Domestic violence triggers ahead.

“Assaulting Women: Veganism, Manarchism, and the Politics of  Support”

By: Aaron Boeke

I had thought that I would never again be shocked by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). I refer, of course, not to their undercover video work in research laboratories, fur farms, and animal feedlots, but to their years long campaign of sexist publicity stunts. After placing “hot” naked women in gestation crates on the streets of London, and encouraging women to go hairless “down there” to protest fur, I was at a loss to think of how they could surprise me yet again with their unabashed misogyny. Defying the will of decent people everywhere, they called my bluff. Their newest video campaign features a thin young blonde woman in a neck brace limping down the street. The voice-over explains that she has been the “victim” of her boyfriend’s newfound sexual prowess. After going vegan he became such a “tantric pornstar” that he “knocked the bottom out of [her].” Upon returning to the apartment she finds him in the bedroom plastering over the hole created when he put her head through the wall. In the final frame her pained expression finally lifts as she stands, in bra and underwear, with a look of arousal on her face. The stomach churns. The mind reels.

 

Perhaps more disturbing than the video itself has been the split reaction it has garnered from the feminist and animal rights communities. PETA long ago proved that they were more than happy to push the normative view of women as mindless sex toys, but crossing the line into an endorsement of sexual violence seemed like it would be the moment in which even ardent supporters could no longer claim that this was just savvy marketing, or give “yes, but” approval to their vile misogyny. The ensuing social media flame wars made short work of that sadly misguided hope. How to engage with a population who refuses to acknowledge that consensual sex does not end with a trip to the hospital is an important question, but it is not the one I am ready to ask.

“Manarchism” was coined to describe the (often) straight, white male “revolutionary” who believes that everyone should be equal but that women should still be responsible for the toilet cleaning and blowjob duties. Because, you know, they’re better at it. It is a term that embodies the exhaustion so many of us feel by the seemingly constant betrayal we experience at the hands of our “friends.” PETA’s ad is just one of many recent examples that spring to mind. The Human Rights Campaign just made Lloyd Blankenfein, CEO of Goldman Sachs, their corporate leader of the year. I suppose we no longer need to ask whether the gay corporate elite feel comfortable throwing the rest of the rainbow under the bus.

The silo effect in progressive activism is well known, and again not something I am going to address here. Instead I would like to declare my own commitment to allies over issues. Too many of us are too often left reeling when our personhood is challenged or our safety threatened by the very people we should look to for support. Solidarity for one another across movements must be prioritized over cohesiveness within them. My politics are as complex as my identity, but when PETA attacks women I am a feminist first and a vegan last. Full stop. We can talk about vivisection later. Today remember that I support you. I believe in your right to exist and identify on your terms. And I’ve got your back.

My Story: Senica Evans

Here is my story;

It was the middle of December 1995; I was a freshman at Whitney Young H.S. on the Westside of Chicago. I lived on the Southside which meant I had to take 2 trains to get to the other side of the city every day. I wasn’t alone in my travels though. My best friend from grammar school, RC, went to the same school. We took the trains together. When we would get to the end of the line, 95th St, we parted ways. I walked the 4 or 5 blocks home alone. There was a KFC and a Burger King on the last block of my daily trek. I frequented both of them, but on this particular day I decided to patronize Burger King. I ordered my usual and exited the store. As I crossed the parking lot, I passed a group of 4 boys. One of them called out to me since I had already passed them. I turned around and said “I’m not walking back so you can catch up“. He obliged. Then there was the usual banter of what’s your name, what school do you go to, etc. The exchange ended with us exchanging numbers. He was older than me, 20 to be exact. He called me that night and we talked for hours. We planned to see each other the next day.

 

The next day, I told my mother I was going ice skating downtown with RC. This was just a rouse as I was meeting him around the corner. We were supposed to go to the skating rink together. I left the house and he was right where he said he would be. He was in a gray 2 door Cutlass. We drove around to an area that was unfamiliar to me. We pulled up to a 3 flat apartment building and he parked the car. He said he would be right back. He had to run to his grandmother’s house for a moment.

 

I sat waiting in the car for what seemed like 15 or 20 minutes. He suddenly reappeared at the car. He opened the door and told me to come in for a second. I exited the vehicle and followed him inside. We walked up the stairs to the third floor. There were two apartment doors on both sides of the stair case. He knocked on one door and there was no answer. He turned as if he were getting ready to head down the stairs and threw me down. I tried to get up but he held me down with his body weight. I was squirming trying to get from underneath him but there wasn’t enough room. I was stuck between the wall and the banister. He held me by my neck with one hand and unfastened his pants with the other. Everything after that become a blur. He took from me something I could never get back, my virginity.

 

When he was done he jumped off me and said “c’mon, I’m gonna take you home”. I felt so low and dirty and ashamed. I walked back to the car staring at the ground. I wanted to run but I didn’t know where I was or how to get home. I got in the car and slumped down in the seat. The weight of everything that just happened hadn’t fully settled in yet. When we got back around my house, he dropped me off in the same place he picked me up. I walked the block home. When I got in the house, I immediately took a shower and went to bed. My mother didn’t have a clue what happened and I intended to keep it that way. I didn’t want a soul to know.

 

One month after the incident, my secret was still safely tucked inside of me. But things slowly started to change. I started sleeping more and was growing increasingly tired. I just thought I was getting sick and quickly dismissed it. Mom, on the other hand, did not dismiss this sudden change in my behavior. She began questioning my every step. There is truly nothing like a mother and her intuition. One day she asked me if I was pregnant and I quickly denied. Pregnant? No, I’m not pregnant! She handed me a pregnancy test and instructed me how to use it. Three minutes later it was confirmed. Yes, I was pregnant.

 

Again, my world came crashing down. I was 14 years old how could I be pregnant. I was a virgin! Well I was before it was stolen right out of my hands. My mother was livid so livid that her baby was not only having sex but also pregnant. She had done everything in her power to teach me about sex and having babies and diseases. But in her world, I completely ignored everything she said. She didn’t speak to me for an entire week. When she finally did talk to me I didn’t have the courage to tell her that as a result of me lying to her I was taken advantage of. She decided I was too young to be a mother. There was no way this was going to happen. I hadn’t even finished high school let alone got into college. The pregnancy was aborted shortly thereafter. I buried this entire incident in the deep dark recesses of my mind to never be talked about again. I hid the hurt, the pain, the embarrassment, and the shame.

 

Today, I am no longer quiet. I found healing through transparency. I have been able to be a shining light to other women and girls who have experienced similar situations. Unfortunately, this was not the end for me. I am a survivor of domestic violence and was married to an abusive controlling spouse. I survived it all. I am a stronger, wiser, better woman because of it. I released all anger, bitterness, and resentment for all the men who have wronged me in my life. Today my life is filled with peace, joy, and true happiness.

Senica Evans is an outspoken survivor, advocate, speaker and author. She has a wonderful website www.SennySen.com where she actively reaches out to survivors of domestic and sexual abuse. She recently released a book Married to Him, which is her story of overcoming a marriage filled with deceit, abuse, and infidelity to joy, peace, and deliverance. She also hosts a weekly Blog Talk Radio show entitled Let’s Chat Radio Show where she discusses all things pertaining to relationships from love to lust and romance to destruction.

Senica Evan's website logo